The funny side of programming

Laughter is the best medicine. Programming is to many, very stressful. Luckily there are people who can see the funny side of programming and give us some laughs.

Here are some of the funniest programming quotes I have come across. Enjoy, sit back and have a laugh.

“C makes it easy to shoot yourself in the foot; C++ makes it harder, but when you do, it blows away your whole leg”. -Bjarne Stroustrup

“Always code as if the guy who ends up maintaining your code will be a violent psychopath who knows where you live”. – Martin Golding

“The first 90% of the code accounts for the first 90% of the development time. The remaining 10% of the code accounts for the other 90% of the development time.” – Tom Cargill

“A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any other invention in human history, with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila.” – Mitch Ratcliffe

“If debugging is the process of removing software bugs, then programming must be the process of putting them in.” – Edsger Dijkstra

“There are two major products that come out of Berkeley: LSD and UNIX. We don’t believe this to be a coincidence.” – Jeremy S. Anderson

“There are two ways to write error-free programs; only the third one works”. – Alan J. Perlis

“It’s not a bug – it’s an undocumented feature”. –Anonymous

“A good programmer is someone who always looks both ways before crossing a one-way street”. – Doug Linder

“The trouble with programmers is that you can never tell what a programmer is doing until it’s too late”. – Seymour Cray

“Don’t worry if it doesn’t work right. If everything did, you’d be out of a job”. – Mosher’s Law of Software Engineering

How many computer programmers does it take to change a light bulb? None, that is a hardware problem!

“Did you hear about that new branded MegaSuperComputer? It returns from an infinite loop just on 6 seconds!”

“To err is human but to really foul things up you need a computer.” – The Economist

“I have always wished for my computer to be as easy to use as my telephone; my wish has come true because I can no longer figure out how to use my telephone.” – Bjarne Stroustrup

“The more I C, the less I see.”

“Some things Man was never meant to know. For everything else, there’s Google.”

“The Internet: where men are men, women are men, and children are FBI agents.”

“Fast, good, cheap: pick any two”. –Anonymous

I hope you enjoyed those. If you have any others that you feel are good to share, please do so in the comments below.

Robert Bravery is a professional programmer, Web site Developer and professional blogger for Integral Web Solutions.